Trading places

The prostitute in this iconic ‘80s film was already surprisingly rich. A few minor adjustments to her portfolio would have tripled her net worth by retirement.

“Frozen orange juice concentrate futures” by DALL•E

In the 1983 film Trading Places, Ophelia, a prostitute played by Jamie Lee Curtis, tells Louis, a financier played by Dan Aykroyd, that she has $42,000 in “T-bills earning interest.” That’s a surprisingly chunky sum for a working girl in down-and-out ‘80s Philadelphia. In fact, given her sizeable net worth as a 25-year-old back then, she could have retired at 65 this year in the top 10% of all American households. Not a bad inning.

Assuming Ophelia had no debts or other assets, she would already have been in the wealthiest 40% of households. According to Edward Wolff, an American economist, the median net worth in 1983 was $33,300. While the top 40% of households had $41,500 or more. Despite living in a cheap apartment in a rundown area and doing ‘80s-OnlyFans, Ophelia is remarkably well-to-do.

From interest alone, she was earning a third of the median salary. According to Federal Reserve data, the median full-time employee made $15,665…